I am sitting here at Ayden's grave. I don't know why i am feeling extra anxious. You know how sometimes when you know there is something bothering you and you can't pin point it. I hate that.
I just left my friend's house were we had a playgroup. They are great women, i am very thankful for them. It kills me that after we all leave, I go to see Ayden. He should be physically there, smiling, laughing, playing, but he isn't and i visit him at the cemetery. There is just something wrong with that.
A couple days ago i woke up and saw doghead on my pillow and it was during a time ayden would be sleeping. For a brief second i had so much relief on my heart and i think it is because i believed for a second that he was just sleeping in his room and he is ok. How i wish.
Thanks for letting me vent a little. :) i just needed a quick outlet and i guess this is the one i chose.
Oh and i am seeing a lot of ay in aurora. It is cute - she is a very happy girl.