Can the words grief and happiness be used in the same blog?

Well, I hope you fell upon this blog by accident and not because you are searching for other mother's who have lost a child. If you are a mother who has gone through the pain of losing a child. I am sorry. Even from one grieving mother to the next. There are no words. Honestly, I usually don't even know how to explain what I am feeling to my closest friends or even my Husband. All I can tell you is that you are an outstanding mother and will always be one, no matter if you are 26 years old, like me, or 102.

I guess I started this blog because i find myself constantly having continuous, exhausting thoughts going through my head. Yes, I do try to write it out in a journal, but it's almost like my hands aren't fast enough. Then when I try to talk them out with my husband, I never know what to say. It's like all these thoughts just translate into tears when spoken out loud. Not that tears are a bad thing, i expect to cry them everyday, but then all my thoughts are still where they started, still in my head, wearing me down.

So if you are reading this, I will have to apologize in advance. I will probably repeat the same things often because the same thoughts go through my head often. Sometimes I will probably say what seems like the wrong things or sometimes I wont say enough. I am sure that my words will be sad, angry and depressing but hopefully there will be happy and encouraging words too. But I guess there are no rules with grief, right? Hopefully not, because I am sure I would probably break them all. Oh and if my words aren't helping you and causing you more stress with your grief, please don't read them. I by no means what to make someone's grief harder.

Hopefully, this blog with bring out the story of an amazing boy who brought nothing by Happiness. I find myself using the word Happiness with Ayden's name often. It seems to fit. I want nothing but to keep his memory alive - a positive memory of him. One that when people think of our Family they see an amazing boy with a big smile and a beautiful heart.